Prone to Wander: wedding modesty

 

 Below is a brief article about wedding modesty that I found interesting. This is a topic that gets swept under the carpet a good bit in Christian circles and yet it's so important! I'd love to hear your thoughts...here are mine. :)

     I'm very aware of the difficulty of finding a modest yet beautiful wedding dress. I have searched before many times and found it far from easy or enjoyable, but what you wear that day is so important and worth the hassle! You are representing the bride of Christ in front of possibly hundreds of friends and family. You will not only be a picture of Christ and His church, but your attire will also say volumes about the men in your life. 

    As women, we were created FOR men FROM men. We were created to be his glory and by respecting and honoring him we glorify God. A young woman's clothing begs the question "whose your authority?" I like to ask myself. What does my appearance say about my father? Do you want people to think little of your father and/or your husband's ability to protect you because of the way you are dressed? Does your attire say "available" or "very well protected and loved?" Your father walks you down the isle as your "head" and yet what does your attire say about how you respect that headship? You could be the sweetest most submissive girl in the world and yet your attire can say quite the opposite. We all desire for our Daddies to walk us down the isle to show the world their protection of us yet does our clothing contradict this truth? 

     Biblically, you are the glory of your husband. This isn't something you can change, but you certainly can dishonor him by the way you portray yourself to other men. You say you wish to honor your man? Show respect by saving yourself for him starting with your wedding day. You look him in the eyes and vow that you will be faithful to him and yet you are dressed to cause other men to be unfaithful? What does this say about you and your vows? Dressing immodestly is an issue no matter the occasion, but your wedding day? WHY of all days must it be your wedding day and why is this often the day when a conservative woman decides to if a bit? This is your day to bring glory to your father AND future husband at the same moment surrounded by hundreds of people! What an incredible opportunity to respect the men in your life through which brings glory to your heavenly Father! 

     I wish I could say that all conservative guys will be strong in this area, but it's not so. I admire the men in my life who will say what needs to be said, but men are visual and if they aren't careful will allow their brides/wives to dress provocatively because they like it. However, a true man of God will be honest no matter how difficult or awkward the topic may seem. Although a man may allow you to dress as you wish for that big day, he will respect you more if you honor him and yourself by being modest. Trust me; you will look beautiful to him even if all he can see is your eyes  and he will respect you for your decision to save yourself for him. Don't think that you are selling yourself short. The ones getting the short end are all those girls who tell the world that they don't respect their father or future husband by parading their vulnerability for all to see. I don't know about you, but I want my attire to say "I'm protected and well loved and I'm saved for my man!" 

Okay, enough of MY thoughts :P

Modesty on your wedding day! 

by Carolyn Mahaney

Last September, when CJ and I had the privilege of going to The Bible Church of Little Rock, CJ spoke on the topic of modesty. At the conclusion of my husband’s sermon, the church’s worship pastor, Todd Murray, presented an additional appeal in his closing remarks. He urged all girls to consider modesty even when shopping for formal attire and wedding dresses. His words were laden with care and compassion, yet they carried an appropriate soberness. We felt Todd’s exhortation was too important to be heard only by the girls of his church, so we asked if we could post his words here at girltalk. He graciously agreed. Let’s listen in and be challenged by one pastor’s heart and plea to the women of his church:

Ladies, please don’t forget to apply these principles of modesty to formal events and weddings.  In recent years, I have become increasingly grieved by the immodest dresses of both brides and bridesmaids at the weddings that I officiate.  I have observed a number of young ladies in our fellowship who have dressed modestly all their lives appearing on their wedding day in extremely provocative dresses, exposing more of themselves than on any other day of their lives.

I assume the best about what is going on in the hearts of these young women. I don’t think that they went to the wedding dress shop determined to be provocative.  No doubt, they just wanted a dress that would be elegant on this day that they have dreamed of all their lives.  When a bride and mother set out on their expedition to find a wedding dress, they are, quite naturally, thinking like… women! Unfortunately, there is no one in the shop who is thinking like a man! I’d like to make a radical proposal, girls. Why not take your father with you to the wedding boutique?  If that thought is just too much for you (or your Dad!) at least consider taking the dress out on approval and allowing your dad to see it before you make your final purchase.

Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself when shopping for a wedding or bridesmaid’s dress:
Does this dress reflect the fact that a wedding ceremony is a holy service of worship and not a fashion show?

Can I picture myself standing in this dress, for an extended period of time, just a few feet from my pastor as he opens the Word of God and leads me in my solemn vows?

Pastor Todd Murray isn’t the only one concerned about immodesty at weddings. I know the pastors of my church share this concern as well.
Having three married daughters, I know the challenges involved in finding modest wedding attire. However, with a lot of time and effort, it can be done! As Todd mentioned, the dad’s role is crucial in this process. CJ helped our girls by providing guidelines for appropriate bridal wear and giving final approval to their choices. Quite simply, the standard of modesty and self-control didn’t change. Here are some criteria CJ gave to the girls:

1.    Find a wedding dress with a neckline that completely conceals any cleavage.
2.    Avoid dresses without sufficient covering in the back.
3.    Strapless gowns or dresses with only spaghetti straps are revealing and thus do not  serve the men in attendance at your wedding.
4.    A modest gown should not be excessively tight and draw unnecessary attention to your figure.

Once again, we hope these specifics assist you in evaluating modest bridal and evening attire. However, please be on guard against the temptation to be self-righteous toward those who choose differently. If you think a bride is dressed immodestly, her wedding day is not the appropriate occasion to comment on her dress! Simply rejoice with her in the goodness of God displayed in her marriage.
And if you are preparing to get married, we hope these thoughts serve you in your effort to plan a ceremony that brings glory to God. May He give you much joy on that special day!

 http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog/Modesty_on_Your_Wedding_Day